Star

Artem had left the room a while ago, so that I could get dressed. But he hadn't come back. He said he was going to call Chay to take me home too. Did he hate me for last night, and this morning?

I didn't want Artem to hate me. I love him, I probably did from the moment I met him but I was too scared to know it. But now, now I had let something happen that we shouldn't have done. And I think it was going to ruin us.

He probably hated me for doing it. Hated me for not telling myself to stop it. I had been at fault for all of it. And now he was disgusted with me.

I heard voices then, not just Artem's like I heard earlier, but two voices now. When I went to the window I saw Artem laying in the sand and Chay standing above him. Chay looked angry and Artem was rubbing his chin as if it hurt.

"What are they doing?" I wondered, asking myself out loud.

I decided it was time for me to head downstairs. I was supposed to leave with Chay after all.

My head hung low as I walked down the stairs slowly. I was afraid to hear what they had to say about my bad behavior. I bet Chay hates me now too.

As soon as I was outside I heard their voices ever more, they were clear and I could make out the words.

"I'm an idiot Chay. An idiot."

"Yeah, you are. But you can come back from this. You can make things better."

"How? How will I stop her from hating me?"

Artem thought I hated him. That was stupid. He hadn't done anything wrong. It had all been me. My fault. Just like my family used to tell me, it's always my fault.

"I love her Chay, I love her so much. But now I think she will never want to see me again." I was hiding near the house, listening to their words. Was it possible that Artem wasn't mad at me? I don't know, my mind is all foggy and it's hard to think past it. What is the matter with me?

"You two need to talk and figure this out. And for Goddess' sake Artem, keep it in your pants."

"I will." Yeah, it was clear to see that Chay was disgusted by what I had done. I had ruined everything with them. They were the best thing to ever happen to me and I had ruined it all.

I was crying again, unable to stop the tears from falling. I tried to stifle the sobs, to cry quietly and softly. But that was a futile effort. My heart hurt too much right now.

"Star?" They both said my name at the same time as they came rushing over to me.

"What's wrong?" Artem had asked that same thing many times today already.

"Are you OK?" Chay asked me when she came to my side.

Chay was the one to come all the way to me, Artem however, stopped short and barely looked at me.

"I'm sorry." I cried, sobbed really.

"You have nothing to be sorry about." Chay was rubbing my arm now, providing comfort in a small way.

"You didn't do anything wrong." Artem's voice was soft as he tried to placate me.

"I messed up. I couldn't stop it from happening and now you're both mad."

"We're not mad." Chay's voice was soothing but I barely paid attention to the words.

"I'm so sorry, Star." Artem fell to his knees in front of me, grabbing my hands and looking at me with despair in his eyes. I flinched again slightly when he fell, not when he touched me, but I don't think he could tell the difference.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He was sobbing now. "Please Star, please forgive."

"I think I should get you home, Star. I think you both need some time to think about all of this. But then, you need to talk to each other. A long talk." Chay's voice was firm and soft at the same time. She was directing us to a solution, or at least I hoped she was. "Come on Star." She took my hand, pulling it from Artem's grip, and pulled me behind her.

I looked over my shoulder and saw Artem sitting there, still on his knees and his shoulders shaking. It was clear he was crying.

Chay pulled me along until we were at her car. She helped me into the seat and shut the door behind me. Before I knew it she was sliding into her seat next to me. All this time I had felt the tears streaming steadily down my face.

"Chay." I said her name, trying to find a place to start.

"Yeah?" She spoke quietly. "What is it Star?"

"I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" She seemed confused. "Artem told me what happened. He told me everything. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I told him it was ok last night, even though I wanted to say no it was too soon. And this morning I made things bad. I ruined everything."

"Sweety, you didn't ruin anything. You did nothing wrong. The problem is what was keeping you from saying what you really wanted to. There is something going on here, and we need to figure it out."

"It's just me. Like everyone used to tell me all the time. I ruin everything. I am cursed."

"No, you're not." Chay was trying to be soothing. I know it, but I couldn't accept it.

"I messed up, I fucked it all up, and now Artem is going to treat me differently. I will probably have to leave the house."

"NO!" Chay yelled at me then, causing me to look up at her. "You will never have to leave. Artem loves you, and you love him. We will figure it all out from here. And if you ask me, whatever is going on was caused by that fucking talisman you're wearing."

"My talisman?"