[Day 9]

Sigh…

Day 9, huh.

We are halfway through the second week of my second life, and I am here, enclosed inside a cave, fearful of the beasts outside, while battling against the wind.

What a second life this is.

But this is the second life I fought and agonized to keep living.

I have grown a bit accustomed to things never going fine.

Since my first life…

If people tell you that life is easy, they are filthy liars.

Life is never easy, not even in a second life filled with cheat abilities.

Life always finds a way… to fuck you over.

It is like a cosmic truth.

Never anything will go your way.

Maybe some things might align with what you plan, but life is so filled with many unpredictable changes that you will never know what is next.

The only thing you can do is always be prepared.

My father always taught me this.

I took it to my heart.

I always prepared several steps ahead of anything.

My sister often told me that I should relax a bit, that I should be more carefree.

That life was not always trying to torment you, that you simply had to enjoy the present a bit.

I tried to do a bit of what she said… I really did.

I went to the snow with her and her family.

It was actually nice.

But when I went skiing… I realized that I was taking things too lightly.

A giant mass of snow appeared right before my back at that time.

The despair and fear I felt then were… mesmerizing.

I still feel it, actually, it is deep within my heart.

It fuels me with the intent of being cautious.

But even if I am cautious, will I still get somewhere?

Even when you are cautious, life is filled with many things you do not even understand nor know.

Or things that you cannot even predict correctly.

Even with a System, I often feel hopeless.

I am alone in this ice world.

No one here to give me a hand.

Only me and the beasts outside.

I have become a beast.

I have to be like a beast and hunt.

I have to prepare for hunting better and keep hunting.

This is… life in its most primordial state.

I really do not blame my sister for anything, do not get me wrong.

I still believe she was a bit right.

I love her… and I hope she is fine.

I miss my father too… and my mother.

Even as a grown-ass man, I still love my parents, I do not know why that would be a bad thing.

I was a human, after all, I have emotions, and made bonds, so why wouldn't I miss my god damn family?

I was not a lifeless, emotionless husk nor an edgy kid, I already got through such a pace.

At the very least I try to be cheerful to fill my life with some… well, life.

But I died.

I am no longer from Earth.

I came to this… whatever this world is, and I am here being an ice dragon.

I have to fill myself with the resolve to keep living this life that has been horrible so far.

I know that, just like my sister once said, there are things in life that you can enjoy and that can make you happy.

I want to find them.

I will take your words to my heart, Emily.

I conjure an ice knife.

The mana particles begin to transform into hard and pure ice, harder than before.

It seems that as I keep conjuring this ice knife, it keeps getting harder and harder.

At first, it got shattered the moment it fell into the floor, but now, it seems to be able to scratch stone a bit.

As the ice knife is about to be completely formed, I immediately start the conjuration of the wind magic.

I have no way of speaking and I can only release some growls out of my mouth, so I cannot chant, the way I use magic is simply by putting my intent and imagination into the magic, projecting what I imagine into existence.

Affinities come into place in this stage of magic conjuration.

If you have an affinity to some magic, the element will easily obey you, and you will have an easier time creating what you project…

I project a strong gust of wind that flows straight from my direction, forcing the knife to fly into the target I want.

The mana turns into the formless and transparent wind.

Poof!

It flows everywhere, I failed.

Again.

I conjure the knife.

As it slowly begins to materialize, I conjure the wind.

Poof.

It failed.

Again.

I conjure the knife, and as it materializes, I conjure the wind to make it flow.

Poof.

It failed.

Again.

I conjure the knife, it materializes, I conjure the wind, it explodes.

Again.

Ice knife, wind, explodes.

Again.

Ice knife, wind, explodes.

Again.

Ice knife, wind, explodes.

Again.

Ice knife, wind, explodes.

Again…

[Day 10]

I conjure an Ice Knife.

The particles of mana begin to materialize into ice, taking the shape I had in mind.

As the knife is about to materialize completely, I conjure a gust of winds.

The particles of mana begin to transform into the formless and colorless wind.

I put my intent into moving in the direction I want.

I begin to flow around, spiraling.

It is going to fail…

But I keep putting my intent into it.

Suddenly, I find something odd.

Why is it spiraling?

The wind never… did that before.

Suddenly, a realization comes to mind.

The wind does not flow the way I want because it is shapeless.

It means that when I release it, it is like a wave that goes everywhere.

To effectively use it, I have to shape the wind and make it flow in the direction.

I shape the wind like a spiral and then, it spirals constantly straight towards a wall in front of me.

It carries the ice knife with it.

Clash!

I… did it.

I am speechless, my eyes seem to not believe what I just did.

The knife has not even fallen from the rock yet, it tightly stuck on it, it penetrated the rock itself a few centimeters… just how… hard is this ice?

I… actually did it.