My boss pays me eighty thousand a month, and the only thing he asks in return is that I wear a red sweater every day. My job is to touch contracts. That is not a euphemism. I touch them, and afterward other people sign them. He also enshrines the scrap paper I have used at the office. For a while I assumed he had some strange fetish he was too rich to be embarrassed about. Then came the day I casually tossed an empty pen refill into the bin, and my co-workers completely lost their minds.
"I'll give you ten bucks for it."
"Twenty."
"Hey. That's just an empty pen refill I threw away."
"Oh my God. What about the jacket on my chair?"
"That's not the tissue I used this morning, is it?"
"Seriously? Is that the holy sock I threw away?"
"Sister Su, I didn't mean to. Do you still want the sock?"
"I — I do. Let me keep it for you for now."
Is this a bunch of creeps?
"Boss, I quit."
"I'll add another twenty thousand to your salary. Just come to work."
To explain how a woman ends up being paid a fortune to leave fingerprints on paperwork, I have to go back to the temple.
My name is Su Jin, and I came here today to manifest a little wealth. I knelt on the mat, I shook the blocks, and I threw them, and threw them, and threw them again.
"Thirteen holy cups? You are truly blessed."
Blessed my foot. I don't even have two hundred bucks in my pocket.
"Your destiny is on the verge of great fortune. Go collect your luck."
Collect my luck? More like collecting disaster. I found out how right I was about an hour later, standing outside a coffee shop with my boyfriend.
"Su Jin, let's break up."
"Lu Dapeng, what do you mean by that?"
"What do I mean? Take a look at yourself. You dress average, you look average, and you earn next to nothing. I'm the one paying your rent. You total loser, living off me, and now you're complaining? The worst part is you're such bad luck. You fail at everything you do. I've been cursed with bad luck just by being with you."
A car door opened behind him. A woman in sunglasses got out of a Porsche and looked at us both with the expression of somebody checking a receipt.
"Why are you wasting time with a poor brat? Let's go. Let's move it, Sister Wang. Take me out for Japanese food tonight."
Who is this old woman? A Porsche? So what?
"You've got some nerve," the woman said to him, "spending my money to keep a little hottie on the side."
"Sis, listen to me. It's all a misunderstanding. That was my cousin."
"Misunderstanding my foot."
"Sis, she really is my cousin. Sis, don't leave. Sis!"
He just said I had bad luck, and then he got dumped by a rich woman on the spot. Serves him right. Those thirteen holy cups might actually be legit. This karma is hitting hard.
The next morning I walked into the office at Chaoshang Creative and Ke Xin was already at my desk, smiling.
"Good morning, Su Jin."
"Do you need something?"
"I sent that proposal from yesterday to the client for you, but the client said the color scheme was hideous."
"You changed my entire proposal and even put your name on it?"
"I was just trying to keep you out of trouble, sister. I took the blame for the scolding for you."
"Taking the blame? And you deleted all the original files? Stealing credit so blatantly."
"That's the corporate world for you. It's all about competence." Somebody behind me snorted into their coffee. "Some people have been here for a year and they're still just changing paper in the copier."
"Exactly. Sister Ke Xin has only just finished her internship and she's already taken on three projects. Nothing we can do. The boss just favors her."
Whatever. I changed that proposal a dozen times anyway. I wasn't even sure about it myself.
That was ten o'clock. At eleven the conference room door came off its hinges, more or less, and Mr. Zheng came through it.
"Who came up with this piece of crap proposal? This red and purple mix. What kind of layout is this? The color scheme is so ugly our boss's blood pressure spiked and he had a stroke right there. He's still lying in the hospital right now. Was this your doing? You even had the nerve to text me this morning taking credit. Do you really think you can just fob us off with this trash?"
"Mr. Zheng. Mr. Zheng, please calm down."
"Get someone else. Fire this intern immediately. If I don't see a new version by tomorrow, we're going straight to a breach of contract lawsuit."
The door closed. Brother Chen turned very slowly to the girl standing in the middle of the room.
"Ke Xin. What on earth were you thinking?"
"Brother Chen, this actually isn't—"
"Shut up. Don't make excuses. Hand over all project permissions immediately and get off the team. Get back to your intern post and start the evaluation process all over again."
Wow. Talk about instant karma. That hit back fast.
My phone rang on the way home. Of course it did.
"Hello, Mom?"
"Jin Jin, look at the neighbor's daughter, Wang. She just landed a secure government job last month, and today she married a civil servant. And look at you."
"Mom, my job is actually pretty good."
"Good? What's good about it? You're stuck doing menial chores, and you couldn't even keep a man. You even got dumped. You've been a disappointment since you were a kid. You didn't study hard in school, and you don't have a decent job. When on earth are you ever going to let us hold our heads high in public?"
I always thought life was just fine if you get by. But is just getting by really enough?
I was still turning that over when my phone buzzed again — not a call this time, a video. A crowd of people in a temple courtyard. A pair of divination blocks landing again and again and again. A voice off-camera counting, getting more hysterical with every throw.
Guys, this is so mystical.
The clothes. That familiar-looking back of the head. Is that me? How did I go viral all over the internet?
And then, because the universe has a sense of humor, Lu Dapeng started calling.
"Jin Jin, it's me. Please, calm down. It's all my fault. You've got the wrong idea."
"Go find your Porsche lady, Wang."
"Don't bring up that old hag. I've been thinking it over these days. My heart only belongs to you. Jin Jin, I bought your favorite milk tea. I'm right downstairs at your office building."
"Didn't you say I had bad luck? Didn't you say everything I touch turns to disaster?"
"Did I say you were bad luck? No way. I think you're actually incredibly lucky. You're blessed with immense fortune. Jin Jin, let's get back together. I promise I'll listen to everything you say from now on."
"Get lost."
This scumbag's mood swings are so fast it's a waste he's not performing Sichuan opera.
The trouble started properly the next morning, when I noticed three people at the water cooler staring at me over the rims of their cups.
"Why are you all staring at me? Do I have a receipt stuck to my face?"
"Thirteen holy cups. Do you even know what the odds of that are? Eight thousand nine hundred and twelve to one."
"Oh, so this person is actually really lucky."
"You're wearing the same clothes today. This whole look is identical to the one in the video."
Fine. I get it.
"Help me put this through the paper shredder," I said, and shoved the whole outfit question out of my head.
Shen Miao took the folder without looking up. That woman is terrifying. Not only is she sharp-tongued, her eyes are as precise as a microscope.
Behind me, two voices by the printer:
"Did you repost that video about the thirteen holy cups?"
"Yeah, I did. The blogger just replied saying the IP address matches this very office building."
"Hey. Don't you think that person's back view— Hey. Excuse me, miss. Wait up!"
Done. Done, I'm done for. This is way too close for comfort. If the whole building sees me, how am I ever going to go about my life again?
I made it into the stairwell, then down two flights, then out through the loading bay like a woman with a body in a suitcase. That was close. I almost got worshipped like a living lucky charm. This outfit is getting turned into a rag tonight.
I had barely got my breath back when Shen Miao appeared at my shoulder, white as the wall.
"The files on the thumb drive are gone. The new company president is arriving for an inspection in thirty minutes, Su Jin. You've been in charge of backing up this presentation material the whole time. What happened?"
"I checked it just ten minutes ago. It was all there, I swear."
"Zhao Xinxin. She's the only one who went into the conference room to borrow a rag ten minutes ago."
That little drama queen just won't behave even after being demoted. She's trying to drag the whole department down with her.
"It's all over," somebody moaned. "The new president is obsessed with efficiency. If we can't produce the files, we're all getting kicked to the curb."
Then the lift doors opened at the end of the corridor and the entire floor stopped talking at once.
"Look at that aura. He's like a walking iceberg."
"That suit is tailored to perfection. Broad shoulders and a narrow waist."
Is this really the legendary cutthroat new president?
He sat down at the head of the table, laid one hand flat on the wood, and said, "Begin."
"Um. Mr. Lin, we've had a minor glitch. Mr. Lin, it's all Su Jin's fault for being negligent. She's acting like a senior employee and deliberately didn't prepare the materials. She's trying to intimidate you. I warned her, Mr. Lin, I really did. She just wouldn't listen. Someone like her who ruins the team needs to be fired immediately."
Why is he looking at me? His gaze feels like a radar. He hasn't seen that koi fish viral video, has he?
"You," he said. "Get out."
"Mr. Lin, it's Su Jin, she—"
"Don't make me say it twice."
"Mr. Lin, I'm just helping you clean up the department. Let go of me!"
So satisfying. Even though this guy is as cold as ice, his ability to sniff out fakers is off the charts. He didn't even need an explanation. He just cleared the room, plain and simple.
"Give me the proposal orally. Three minutes."
"All right, Mr. Lin. The core of our proposal this time is based on reverse emotional psychology—"
He listened to the whole thing without moving. Then he stood, buttoned his jacket, and said, "Report to the headquarters tomorrow."
Wait. Report to headquarters? A slacker employee like me, who almost caused a disaster, just got promoted by the new president?