It was mid-autumn festival once again. I was already six months pregnant. After taking my pulse, the imperial physician told me there was an eighty to ninety per cent chance it was a prince. I felt a bit relieved. That made things much easier.
Xie Linzhuo did not host any more palace banquets. He only came to my palace that night to accompany me in the courtyard to worship the moon goddess, and we enjoyed the moon while eating pastries and fruits. As the night grew late, I grew weary and lacked energy. Xie Linzhuo carried me back to my room. In my drowsiness, I seemed to hear him say, "A-Yuan, after all these years, you are still the one by my side."
I had no desire to fathom whether he was glad to have me or regretted not having her. So I pulled up the blanket and fell fast asleep.
The late stages of pregnancy were somewhat difficult to bear. Chuju and Chuna kept a very close eye on me, and someone always accompanied me whenever I moved about.
One day, when I woke up from my afternoon nap, my sister somehow came to Changle Palace all by herself. Chuju and Chuna stood nervously by my side, terrified that she might suddenly go mad and hurt me, but she only stared at my swollen belly and left after watching for a short while.
The next time she came, she was accompanied by Nanny Wang, Lanniang and several second-class maids. She opened the food box, presenting a plate of pastries to me.
"These are delicious."
I accepted them with a smile, but set them aside without eating any.
"Why aren't you eating? Are you looking down on me?"
"How could I look down on you, sister? I'm just not hungry right now."
"I see right through you. You do look down on me. What right does a concubine's daughter like you have to look down on me?"
My elder sister's face suddenly contorted as she flew into a manic rage. Chuju and Chuna quickly rushed to stand in front of me, serving tea and saying soothing words to her. But Nanny Wang shoved them both to the floor.
"What cheap wenches dare stand in front of her ladyship?"
Taking advantage of that split second, my sister rushed forward and swept the plate of pastries off the table, shattering it on the floor. She grabbed my upper arms viciously and shook me.
"Are you laughing at me? You even stole my husband."
I struggled to break free, but I didn't expect her to have such immense strength. Hearing the commotion, Erbao and Sanbao rushed in to help free me, but Nanny Wang blocked them. With my arms pinned by my sister, I couldn't muster any strength. Just then, a lock of her hair fell loose. I reached up, grabbed hold of it, and pulled down with all my might.
Stung by the pain, she finally let go of me, clutching her head and wailing. I didn't spare her another glance. Chuju and Chuna shielded me as we retreated into the inner room. Suddenly, a warm gush of fluid rushed out from beneath me.
By the time Xie Linzhuo rushed over, I was already drenched in sweat, lying on the delivery bed. He called out anxiously from outside the window. "A-Yuan, hold on."
I ignored him, while regretting that I could have avoided this accident. I pushed hard along with the contractions. I have already come this far on this path. I must succeed, and I will succeed.
The agonizing pain made my consciousness fade. But in a haze, I could hear a little child calling me "Mother" repeatedly. I snapped back to consciousness in an instant, with a slice of ginseng under my tongue. The midwife was anxiously urging me to push. I gripped the bedding beneath me tightly. I returned from the gates of hell.
A loud cry of a baby pierced the quiet long night, welcoming the dawn. The midwife said, "It is an imperial prince."
My mind was finally put at ease, and I let myself sink into a deep sleep.
When I woke up again, moonlight was spilling in through the window. A single candle flickered by the bedside. Chuju was dozing off, sitting on the footstool by the bed. Hearing some movement, she turned her head in pleasant surprise.
"Your ladyship, you're awake. Would you like something to eat?"
"There is no rush. Is the baby all right?"
"He is doing very well. Chuna and the wet nurse are watching over him in the other room."
I leaned back against the pillows, watching Chuju set the dishes for me, while her mouth didn't stop moving either.
"This time, the emperor is completely disgusted with Jiaofang Palace. Running to Changle Palace to throw a tantrum and causing your ladyship to give birth prematurely. The emperor has decreed that Consort Ying must reflect on her actions in Jiaofang Palace."
"When was the decree issued?"
"This morning. Yesterday, when the emperor arrived, he asked what had happened, and we explained everything in detail. At the second watch, the emperor returned to Xuanzheng Hall and came back at the third watch."
Chuju handed me a cup of water and added, "And as for that Nanny Wang, the emperor cursed her as a wicked old servant who instigated her mistress to stir up trouble, harm a noble consort and attempt to murder imperial offspring. This afternoon, she was dragged out of Jiaofang Palace and beaten to death."
I fell silent. Nanny Wang, that accomplice. I had planned to deal with her myself, but I didn't expect Xie Linzhuo to find out she instigated my eldest sister to stir up trouble and to have her beaten to death directly.
But now he will think that my eldest sister, lacking sound judgement, was merely egged on by the nanny to commit those many rude and immoral acts. As time went on, his growing dissatisfaction with my elder sister will fade, and seeing her half-mad state would only fill him with guilt. The guilt of an emperor will undoubtedly gild her with a golden body. But it doesn't matter. Since his heart could be divided in two before, it can be divided into even more pieces now.
A few days later, someone submitted a memorial requesting the death sentence for Consort Ying, on the grounds of harming the imperial noble consort and plotting against the imperial heir. Xie Linzhuo argued that Consort Ying was pure of heart and that Nanny Wang was the one instigating trouble, noting she had already been beaten to death. Once one person spoke up, many others followed suit. The emperor and his ministers were at a stalemate.
I held the infant whom Xie Linzhuo had named Xie Mu, amusing him with a rattle drum, when Xie Linzhuo arrived. This was the scene that met his eyes.
"Your place is still the most comforting."
He took Mu'er in his arms and teased him. I smiled without saying a word, listening to him complain. I let him vent all the anger he had built up in court before soothing him.
"Your Majesty, please do not be angry. Your health is what matters most. Mu'er and I are entirely in your hands."
Xie Linzhuo was deeply moved. "A-Yuan, let us live a good life together from now on."
I nearly threw up. When we were newly wed, he told me back then that we would live a good life together. I exhausted my mind and planned every step for him for five years, only to be demoted from wife to concubine, while my Xuan'er died a tragic death. I don't want to live a good life with him. Can I not live a good life on my own?
After a few days of stalemate, seeing that Xie Linzhuo adamantly refused to order Consort Ying's death, the court officials brought up the imperial draft again. This time, Xie Linzhuo did not reject it entirely for the sake of my eldest sister. He had clashed and reached a stalemate with the ministers several times, which had already severely damaged the bond between ruler and subject.
When Xie Linzhuo came to Changle Palace again, I offered him a way out.
"Your Majesty has been on the throne for five years, yet Mu'er is your only child. The ministers are merely worried about the lack of heirs for Your Majesty. Besides, if you insist on refusing, it will also damage the bond between ruler and subject."
Xie Linzhuo took my hand. "But wouldn't you feel jealous and sad?"
Tears welled up in my eyes. "How could I not? But I would hate to see you in a difficult position even more."
Xie Linzhuo remained silent for a long moment. He pulled my hand and placed it over his heart. "A-Yuan, I know how much you have sacrificed for me. I will never let you down again."
The next day, I received two pieces of good news. One was that Xie Linzhuo had agreed to hold the draft. The other was that my Mu'er was named crown prince.