But it wasn't like this before. Before, when I was drunk, I would cling to her stubbornly, wrapping my arms around her neck and acting spoiled, my face flushed, my eyes sparkling bright, filled with love for her. I would ramble on, saying there were women at the party trying to touch me, and I was furious because the person I wanted to marry hadn't agreed yet.
At that time, Serena could feel my love, but she suppressed the impulse in her heart and body, coldly saying she wouldn't marry me, and certainly didn't love me. She had said those words of rejection countless times over those three years. But each time I would only be disappointed for a moment, and next time I would come back full of love to embrace her. I was like a tireless moth, throwing myself into the flame again and again.
That night I drugged her, Serena soaked in the freezing pool all night. I also stood by the poolside in thin clothes all night. I said I was wrong, begging Serena to come out of the water, promising I would never use such tactics again, begging her not to hate me.
How did Serena feel at that time? She was furious, not at me, but at herself, because she clearly hadn't been affected by the drug at all, yet her body still shamefully desired me. She didn't understand either why she would have such a reaction to me, that arrogant, cruel young master. As if punishing herself and punishing me at the same time, she threw back one sentence.
"Julian, stop struggling. I'd rather be alone my whole life than marry you."
At that time, her back was turned to me, so she didn't see my expression. She only knew the sobbing behind her suddenly stopped. Then came my voice, even more humble.
"All right. I won't force you. If you won't marry me, I won't marry anyone else my whole life either. I can't accept being touched by someone I don't love. Serena, I'll wait for the day you turn around and walk toward me."
But now that she wanted to turn around, I was no longer in that same place.
Looking at Vivienne in my arms, Serena struggled to suppress the urge to go completely mad. She watched the guards gradually closing in and could only unwillingly retreat with reddened eyes. But when she reached the door, Serena didn't want to step out. She stared at my mocking, sarcastic eyes and suddenly dropped to her knees with a thud.
"First young master, have you forgotten everything? I'm the bodyguard you personally chose. I'm not some Miss Ashford. It's just a coincidence that we share the same surname. I traveled all this way to tell you that when you chose me back then, and made me swear those vows, I still remember them."
Serena spoke while gazing up at me intently. I was slightly stunned. Clearly, I didn't remember. The bitterness in Serena's heart immediately surged like a tide. She lowered her head, casting aside her pride, and shuffled forward on her knees a few more steps.
"At that time, I told you, aside from death, I would stay by your side for life, protecting you."
With that, Serena knocked her head hard against the ground. "I beg the first young master not to send me away."
The corners of Serena's eyes were flushed red, pleading and hopeful. I looked at Serena like this, with not a trace of pity in my eyes. I walked up to Serena. In Serena's anguished, guilty eyes, a hint of hope appeared. But then she heard me say icily, "But you've already broken that promise. For Dominic, you pushed me into danger again and again. Do you remember that day?"
Hatred surged in my eyes as I stomped down on Serena's hand. Serena let out a pained cry, her eyes full of shock and humiliation, but no anger or hatred. A Serena disobedient, stripped of all pride — this was the first time I'd seen her like this.
I continued on my own, a satisfied smile at the corner of my mouth. "Do you know that day when you drugged me? You locked me in with a pervert. When I was being tormented, what kept me going was the thought of one day treating you like this. Serena, I don't know what your purpose is. Are you tired of playing princess pretending to be a bodyguard?"
Serena's pupils trembled, looking at me in disbelief, feeling her heart squeezed by a giant hand, making it hard to breathe. "You knew everything back then."
I smiled, tears welling up. "It doesn't matter anymore. I want to tell you, whether you're Serena Ashford the Langford bodyguard, or the eldest princess of the Ashford family, I deeply regret it. Regret ever falling for someone like you. It disgusts me."
With that, I lifted my foot from Serena's hand. "I should even thank your family for making a move on the Langfords. Serena, whatever your purpose is, I suggest instead of wasting time on me, you hurry back and save your pure, innocent Dominic. Because the next one to make a move will be me. And you know, I don't know my own strength, and I'm cruel at heart. He probably can't withstand me."
When I said these words, my face was full of satisfaction and malice, exactly the arrogant young master image Serena hated most. But now, when Serena looked at me, her eyes held only infatuation.
Seeing that I had vented, Vivienne walked to my side, took my hand, and spoke gently, blocking Serena's gaze at me.
Hearing Serena being dragged away, my mood still didn't improve. I looked at Vivienne beside me and couldn't help asking, "Now that you know, can you accept it? Actually, this is who I am. Arrogant and cruel, ruthless in my methods."
But Vivienne just kept staring at the bandaged burn on my hand, a hint of heartache in her dark eyes. "Doesn't it hurt?"
Vivienne had seen clearly that when I was emotional, I had clenched my fists tight, my nails nearly digging into my palms. How could it not hurt?
I didn't expect Vivienne to ask this and couldn't help saying, "Shouldn't you think I'm cruel?"
Vivienne lifted my hand again, gently blowing on the wound. "This isn't cruel. If it were me, I would be even more ruthless. Julian, this proves we're a perfect match made in heaven. You don't need to have any worries. You kill, I'll set the fires. Who says we're not husband and wife? Anyone you hate doesn't deserve to live and make you uncomfortable."
Looking at the determination in Vivienne's eyes, my heart was quickly filled with a strange emotion.
Serena had no intention of going back. She stood guard outside the Sinclair estate all night, stubbornly waiting for me to come out. At Serena's forceful request, she sent away everyone around her and demanded they not reveal her identity, only saying she was the bodyguard assigned to me. Since I was here now, she naturally had to follow.
The guards at the gate were quite annoyed, looking at Serena standing like a statue to the side, and opened their mouths to mock her.
"Your first young master already said he doesn't want to see you. You've been fired. Get lost already. Your young master and our young miss are very close. Don't think everyone doesn't know what you're scheming. Take a look at yourself. How could the madam possibly value you? Do you really think being a mistress and a home wrecker and getting noticed means you can climb high?"
Had Serena ever suffered such humiliation? Unable to hold back, she rushed forward and punched that guard hard. "Nonsense. How could he look down on me? The person he loves most in his heart is me. Your young miss is the one who came later and took my place."
The guard, hit for no reason, grew even angrier, his words equally harsh. "If he loved you, why did he marry someone else? This is just your one-sided delusion."
Serena defended herself with reddened eyes. "It's not one-sided. It's just—" Her voice caught. "He's too foolish, and he has failed my feelings."
Just then, my cold voice rang out. "What's going on?"
The guard immediately broke free from Serena's grip and ran to me to report. "She stands guard here every day, causing misunderstandings. I was just advising her to stop being so lovesick, and she attacked me. She insists she's your personal bodyguard and demands to follow you into the Sinclair estate."