The person standing at our door was none other than Chen Ming, my childhood sweetheart who I grew up with. He had two brothers, and he was the unfavored middle child. He learned carpentry from the other villagers.
Back on the day my family forced me to get married, my mom locked me in the house for a whole week, absolutely refusing to let me see Chen Ming. By the time I saw him again, I was already pregnant. Chen Ming was angry, but there was nothing he could do.
He liked me. He thought I was pretty and didn't look down on him for being poor. With his family's situation, three brothers and parents who were gluttonous and lazy, who in the village would be willing to marry their daughter into that family? None of the brothers were married.
That time we met, we held each other and wept bitterly. Chen Ming cursed himself for being useless. I told him I had no feelings for that other man, and we decided right then and there.
In the end, Chen Ming waited at home for days but heard absolutely no word from me. He ran to my house several times, but my mom always said she didn't know where I'd gone. He didn't believe a single word. He was sure my mom had hidden me somewhere. He came again today, refusing to believe that a living person like me could just disappear into thin air.
Chen Ming was shouting at the top of his lungs.
"Stop yelling. Lin Yao isn't home." My mom suddenly shouted at him from behind, startling Chen Ming. My mom and Lin Man had somehow appeared behind him.
My mom looked at Chen Ming, who was dressed in ragged clothes. Her eyes were filled with contempt, but when she thought about what she was about to do, she forced a smile. "Chen Ming, you're here to see Lin Yao again."
Chen Ming took a few steps back and mumbled an answer. The Lin family looked down on him. He had always known that.
"Chen Ming, let me be honest with you. Lin Yao really isn't home. She's not feeling well and is in urgent need of money. Lin Man and I just sent her some money, but it's still not enough."
My mom said it so convincingly, as if it were true, her eyes darting around to size up Chen Ming.
Lin Man immediately understood her mother's meaning. "That's right. Aren't you and Lin Yao close? She's in trouble now. Enough with the pleasantries. Just give us some money for her to use."
Chen Ming's heart skipped a beat. He remembered the day they had decided to elope. I had told him I wanted to get an abortion. Although he said at the time he'd raise the child as his own, he was really just placating me back then. Now that I had been gone for several days, and hearing what my mom said, he immediately assumed I had really gone through with the abortion. Getting an abortion was a shameful thing in those days. No wonder they were keeping it such a secret.
He was shocked, but even more than that, he was pleasantly surprised. He felt the two hundred yuan in his pocket. He had originally planned to go try his luck at gambling. That probably wasn't going to happen now.
He immediately took out the money. He even deliberately lowered his voice to tell my mom, "Auntie, this is everything I have. Please give it to A-Yao."
The thought that I was willing to give up even our child for him moved him deeply. Then he added, "Just tell her she's been through a lot, and that I'll definitely treat her well from now on."
After stuffing the money into her hand, Chen Ming lowered his head and hurried away.
My mom and Lin Man were both stunned. My mom, who had a whole speech prepared, was especially caught off guard. She had only spouted a couple of sentences of nonsense, and Chen Ming immediately pulled out the money.
"This is great, Mom. I have the money for my tutoring classes now." Lin Man's eyes lit up as she stared at the brand new two hundred yuan in red bills.
My mom was also grinning from ear to ear, quickly opening the door to take her daughter home. Once in the courtyard, she held the money and looked it over from every angle. Finally, she scoffed. "A poor boy will always be a poor boy. His entire life savings is two hundred yuan, while someone like Lu Jiao sends five hundred a month just for living expenses. So how much must the rest of it be worth?"
The mother-daughter duo was once again filled with envy.
"Mom, you don't think Chen Ming will come asking us for the money back later, do you?" Lin Man asked, feeling uneasy.
My mom shoved the money into her pocket, her expression turning cold. "He should be asking Lin Yao for his money back. Why would he come asking us for anything? He should go ask Lin Yao for it."
Lin Man said with a smile, "That's right. He should go ask Lin Yao."
Meanwhile, life in the compound was as comfortable as ever. I attended my classes every week. I'd bask in the sun from time to time. Besides stressing a little about work, everything else was pretty good.
In the blink of an eye, over a month had passed. The weather was getting colder and colder. You had to wear a jacket over your sweater. I was three months pregnant, and the morning sickness was gradually fading away. My appetite, on the other hand, was getting better and better. The food Lu Jiao brought back, I'd eat every last bite. I'd not only scrape the lunchbox clean, but I'd also need a snack in between. Once I was full, I'd get sleepy. I didn't even have time to think about work.
The progress in the literacy class was also getting faster and faster. I started wondering if I should stop the classes for now. After all, given the current situation, if I really wanted to work, I definitely wouldn't have time for class.
That day, I told Su Jiayi my thoughts. After listening, she gave me a long look. "So, you want to find a job first and put your studies on hold, and then continue studying after you have the baby."
I felt a little embarrassed. "Well, when it comes to education, if you have the will, it's never too late. But work opportunities are rare. What if one comes along? I can't miss it. Jiayi, you're not mad, are you?"
Su Jiayi shook her head. "I'm not mad. I'm just really impressed with you."
I looked at her, confused.
Su Jiayi continued. "You're Commander Lu's wife now. His salary is so high. Of all the married women in the compound, which one of them wouldn't want to just enjoy a comfortable life at home? They'd kill to have two nannies waiting on them. But look at you, thinking about finding a job while you're pregnant," she said with sincerity. "Anyway, I think you're pretty amazing."
I gave a wry smile. I couldn't exactly tell her that Lu Jiao and I weren't on good terms. What if one day he gets tired of me? It's not impossible that he'd just kick me to the curb. I have to plan for my own future.
"So, Jiayi, you agree to let me pause my classes for now?"